quotes by Mark:
"Instead of fighting with our fists or guns or knifes or anything, we fight using dance"
Making of All The Small Things Video
"What a crappy deal I've got"
Making of All The Small Things video, when he saw Travis making out with a gorgeous woman, Mark got a dog...
"I didn't get the wrong side of the deal, at least I get to stay dry"
Making of All The Small Things video when Travis and the woman rolls out in the water, obviously they get wet, Mark is dry...
"Have you seen my pants anywhere?"
Mark is running around on the All The Small Things set and, for once, want to get dressed...
"No, I had to do this thing when I had to put a cucumber in my pants"
Mark was upset when filming All The Small Things and called his mom...
"Let's hear it for blow jobs, people."
"We are not a stars. We are all just dorks in a band"
"I do not have a girlfriend, I have a dog."
"We play poopy poppy punk like stuff"
"I think age is just a stupid number."
"We want people to take care of there butts, because we have to make sure there clean."
"Look at me... look at me... I need the attention, oooh I'm punk rock I got some tattoos, I got some piercings. If I'm gonna get some piercings then I want everyone to see it...I don't need to advertise my punkness. A real punk doesn't need to show off...Its like a Karate man... the Karate man bleed on the inside. A real punk is punk on the inside."
"Our favorite things in the world are pee-pee and doo-doo."
"They always want to see how big our penises are."
"Tom works out everyday on tour, dude."
"Disney movies are fuckin' bitching."
"Hard work, studying and perseverance will get you no where in life......it's all about kissing ass"
"Nothing's uglier or stupider looking than a naked guy, and making a video out of that was a little uncomfortable and fun at the same time."
"Alright if I had to sleep with a man it would be Harrison Ford, alright." The Urethra Chronicles
"My lady did my nails.....they even have sparkles, see?"
Mark - "How do you do these?" (Girls overalls)
Tom - "Like you don't know!"
"I'm the sexiest person here.....I am very masculine" - Mark with the girls overalls on.
"Okay, someone didn't wear deodorant today!"
Some guy - "Mark, any last words before your show?"
Mark - "The last thing I wanna do tonight is a show. I just wanna go home."
Some guy - "Dude, that's what you said last night!"
Mark - "That's what I say every night."
"Tom likes to stick small pieces of furniture up his ass"
"Tom is making love with men.....right now."
"However... the prognosis of Tom's canker sore is pretty much the same as the prognosis about his penis. It's not the biggest one Dr. Bruce has seen but it's the placement of it that bothers him." The Urethra Chronicles
"We've done the same things that we were doing in the beginning, and we never wanted our band to stay small. I mean, we want our band to be as big as it can, and I'm not going to die wondering about some kid that calls us a sell-out at a show. I don't have a problem being on MTV, and I don't have a problem being on the radio. I actually like it. So there. And anyone that calls me a sell out is just jealous."
"Take it from me because I learned the hard way: circumcisions are best left to professionals." Rolling Stone interview
"See, my mom sings about transvestites! I'm not the crazy one!"
Mark when his mom sings Transvestite on MTV's Road Home - Blink 182
"Make yourself do something stupid so when you really do something stupid you won't feel so bad"
"I think that the whole Y2K thing will be that people will sit in their cars and watch their speedometers go down to 10,000 and they'll be like oh, but I'll still be ugly and have no friends."
"People call me the Porky Pine, because I'm the Porky Pine of all the fellas! I go clubbin' every single night, and I don't give a f**k coz I'm the Porky Pine, club boy, clubbin' every single night, New York, L.A., London.... Tokyo, everywhere!" The Urethra Chronicles
"I'm not a whore, I don't have sex with girls that I'm not in love with, but I've been known to partake of the occasional hookup and what-have-you."
"I try not to judge people or talk shit about anyone except the other guys in my band."
"Everybody, gather around me!!!" MTV's how to live like a rockstar, Mark was dancing
"Don't leave me all alone" Mark starts singing, then Tom joins in, it sounded like SHIT!!! From the same place as above
"Do you think there's any chance I'll make out tonight?" Mark
"Wow... I don't know! I've gotta see who you're working with" Lil' Kim
In the outfit on the picture! MTV movie awards 2001
"Tom's actually in Sweden doing his sex change. He's been a woman for like seven years, and his dream finally came true. Actually, he's on his honeymoon" MTV news
"Wow, she's a 32D! It must be some metric boobs" MTV Select (MTV Europe), Atomic Kitten left their bra for them
"Tom's seriously cross-eyed and nobody likes him" Commenting the Rock Show video
"Brathoslavia?? Wow, is that a country? Well, hello!"
"We suck at dancing" MTV's Best of Bad Boys
"If something is wrong with you, hate someone else for it" Same as above
"You never find anything better than to go home" On the tour bus
"Christina Aguilera Christina Aguilera Christina Aguilera!!!" Who did Mark see????
"It's the most creepy part of being in a band, it's called meet & greet.... Meet & creep! Then we just move this way............ slowly" Mark makes it clear that he dislikes the meet & greet parts and would like to get away
"It won't be [released by us], 'cause I honestly don't want people to see me naked. We'll lose our entire fan base! Especially when I do a cartwheel in front of the camera and I'm totally naked -- the whole package is just really rotten looking." Mark on unedited version of "What's My Age Again?" video
"Tom's girlfriend apparently likes ugly guys." Scott "She looks for what's inside!" Tom "She's a proctologist" Mark (Interview)
"Tom likes boobies, he breast fed until he was 14" San Diego concert
"This is for everyone here who has a penis or vagina and especially for those who have both" San Diego concert
"If you're under 18 you can't flash us unless you brought a note from your parents"
"I can have sex with each and every girl here....and be home in time for dinner"
"I've seen Travis naked!!"
Mark: "Why are you in love with me? Do you have a thing for ugly, fat, disgusting guys?"
One of Kari's (Tom's sister) friends: "No, I have a thing for cute, talented guys"
Mark: "Oh, then you should like Travis" MTV's Road Home
quotes by Tom:
"Just tell the Backstreet Boys right now, I am ready for work, and I'm gonna dance again, and I'm on fire"
Making of All The Small Things video
"I haven't grown up at all since I was a freshmen in high school, and neither has my penis."
"Do I look feminine when I stand like this?"
"We take our music very seriously."
"Humor has become so clich and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable."
After asked about getting spit on in concert he told someone - "Usually I'm too drunk to really care about it. Sometimes I'll look at my shirt and see a bunch of loogies and get all grossed out, but it's all in the name of fun."
"For me, sex with a girl is a race to orgasm, and I am undefeated."
"Some people think we're idiots and perverts, which we are."
"We don't want to act like adults. Anybody who can stay in a state of adolescence will be much better off later on. Look at people who are working nine-to-five jobs out of college, and look at professional skateboarders or guys in punk bands," he says. "See who's having more fun."
"I came up with a little formula," DeLonge says. "If you write songs about girls you get girls at show. We write a lot of songs about girls."
"This type of music has a limited time span so we have to evolve and do the best we can now."
"Our take on punk is really just fun: it's fun to offend people and do what we want to. But it isn't that offensive. We make music for ourselves and everybody else who gets it. It's a lifestyle scene. If you don't get it you don't have to listen."
"I don't know why I am in this band, I am the only guy that likes girls. I am the only one that believes that guys and girls should be together and that babies should be made the penis vagina way. The old way. These guys are trying to create some weird wacky, maybe the penis in the butt will get a kid, I don't know. I don't think that works" Mark: "What?" Tom: "No, don't come here and try to act like your heterosexual!"
"And as for signing to a bigger label .... well I'd like to make a lot of money and fuck credibility. If I did it doesn't make me any different. Just richer."
"I've masturbated like 5 times in the last 24 hours... it hurts... it's going to fall off."
"This is a scene and the bands that have been in it a long time deserve the breaks. Doesn't mean they've changed. We haven't. We're still writing songs about girls."
"I study that stuff, man," he says. "UFOs ... I'll tell you that I think in the next year the US government is going to come out and admit that aliens have visited Earth. The reason I think that is that I listen to this radio show at home which deals with all this stuff."
"Now which one of you said I suck? Which one of you called me an ugly disgusting bastard? Was it you? How old are you? How old are you? You know I once said that I would never stick anything in my buttlarger than a lamp light! Anyway........you guys wanna hear a song?"
"Hey.. How old are you? 15? OH MY GOD!!! Put those things away."
"I'm probably the sexiest and the best in bed, even if I'm by myself in bed. I love to masturbate. I love to give myself orgasms. I love to deliver orgasms to the masses." The Urethra Chronicles
"So we're in Wisconsin. I LOVE CHEESE!!" Mark - "You know, I really don't get the point of putting something in the fridge, let it mold, and then take it out and spread it on a cracker!!"
Mark: "Hey Tom, tell these people about the Philippines! "
Tom: "We hear that in the Philippines, when a baby's crying, you have to suck on it's penis to make it stop crying. So I guess that makes me philippino. It works on me to, if I'm crying, you suck on my penis."
Mark: "Okay! Shut the fuck up!"
Tom: "Ok!"
The Urethra Chronicles
"Travis has a lot of tattoos. I hope basically means I hope I can get laid by a guy. Can I say for can I say I'm gay. And the bird, represents a man swooshing through the clouds and coming down and sleeping with him."
"It's so obvious that I have the most masculine attributes. If femininity were a sport, the other two guys would have a gold medal. All I hear is, "When can I wear a dress? Can I paint my house pink?" That kind of stuff. By far, I'm the only one that resembles something like a Conan-type character. You can call me Conan."
"The only reason I bought a computer was to look up UFO sites and learn how to get probed. Anally. Wait, are you laughing at me?"
" I really enjoy, uh, getting make-up and my butt worked on. What I do normally before a show is I get my butt spackled, shaved, waxed, massaged, and buffed..."
"Marks penis only turns in a 90 degree angle."
"Well, uh, that one back there says hope, I hope I can get laid by a guy. The one on the front says Can I Say I'm gay, basically, can I say I'm gay. Like, if you look on his ghettoblaster that ghettoblaster is always playing homosexual music like Morrisey, Erasure. Uh... the bird on his right arm that you see there symbols ... a man... swooshing through the sky coming down and... sleeping with him."
"You mean the shit people claim 'You're not punk anymore!' I think they're a bunch of little hypocrites. Punk has nothing to do with the label you're on. We still get that kind of crap, but for every hypocritical punk kid, there are hundreds out there who just like the music. It's all about music and fun anyway and I can't see anything wrong with that. All the selling out talk is really overrated, the funny thing is it hardly ever comes from bands, it comes from some kid who think they're so punk because they have a purple mohawk. And it's the one that has the biggest... ehhh ... mohawk is the most punk! Ha ha!"
"Please don't throw up your dirty toilet paper, I'm not hungry"
"I don't get boy bands these days. They don't write their own songs and everything is choreographed from their dance moves to how they have sex with each other after the show."
"If I was a thief, I'd only sneak into peoples houses and steal their underpants"
"You know, it's almost like we have a script to follow, but really we're just really funny guys. Funny, funny am I."
"I'm sick of been known as the sexy guy who writes the songs."
"It's cold, (The cameraman: get out of the way!) it's raining (get out of the way!!!).....and this is the most boringest place on earth. (GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!)" The Urethra Chronicles
"We write songs about love, life, friendship, food.....your mom."
"All the.....All the.....I will not gooo.....FUCK!" Preparing for the VMA 2000 performance on MTV, being nervous, obviously
"I can't live without Mexican food."
"I'm in my own personal hell."
"Is this healthy? The rain, the cold, the Germany? The snot, the nose, the fever?"
"Fuck me, I'm losing respect for myself as an artist.....and as a lover."
"Go fuck your dad kids!"
"I wet myself at night when I'm asleep, just like everybody.....I spy on my dad when he's taking a shower just like everybody else in this world.....we're not just a joke band"
Mark: "This is Graceland to me!" Then he starts crying
Tom: "This is Graceland to you?!?!" Then they both start laughing. You'll have to see it!
Mark and Tom it their studio on MTV's Road Home - Blink 182
"My nuts taste better with fudge!" The Urethra Chronicles
Mark: "Watch out for the big columns of Styrofoam!"
Tom: "I usually stuck them in my pants....... It makes it look bigger!" The Urethra Chronicles
"Toiletpaper, toiletpaper! You make me blow my nose on you! All I want is my ears to pop out" Tom doesn't feel well!
"I think Travis is cute."
"I drank a shit load of caffeine. That shit shrinks your balls but it wakes you the fuck up!"
"It's the boobie monster!!" Atlanta show
"I bet this camera would make my penis look really big" San Diego concert
"Look! Look! I'm getting a blow job right now!! Thanks whakeem.. wait, wait, I don't know if I can recover that fast" San Diego concert
"Why do you keep throwing clothes at me? Obviously you don't like what I'm wearing" San Diego concert
"Yeah, I've been trying to get back on that type of diet, with the calcium and all but my mom won't let me...but my dad will" San Diego concert
"HEY, HEY, HEY!!! We're artists, alright? Shut the fuck up!!!" Sandjob 2000
quotes by Travis:
"Is she an actress? Oh! It's gonna be scary to roll around in the sand with her"
Making of All The Small Things video when he saw the gorgeous woman he was going to make out with
"Everything is beautiful in this band. Its much simpler than the nine piece I was in before."
"We are just a silly little punk band."
"If I were a condom I'd be too big."
"Put me up in front of a million people and ask me to speak. I'll flop. But put me behind my drums and I'll always go with it."
"I wanted to be a Pro skater but I kept on hurting myself to the point where I couldn't even do it anymore..."
"I like to teach drumming. It gives kids the advantage I didn't have. Plus I like to keep track of the little guys. Cause I don't want any little guy sneaking up on me, you know!"
"I'm kinda sweaty, why? - Wanna go do something?"
"Awe, are you saying you never dyed your hair? Mr. Purple hair like 2 months ago..."
"I want a tattoo of a sailor ship, all the way from my wrist to my, to my tittie!"
"Dude, your so faulty...Is this...Is this your beer?"
"I like gangster rap because it's funny, but I'm not into anything though if it doesn't have a good message."
"I don't write lyrics or anything like that."
"Our music has nothing to do with politics or aggression. It's all about fun."
"I cannot have anything to do with something that suggests violence."
"I've got three supped up [Cadillac's] ready and waiting for me when I'm finished touring."
"My tattoos, OK...starting on the arms...there's the Virgin Mary for my mom , Familia for friends, Drums, Devils, Birds, '$' symbol, microphone for music and singing in general, bombshell for the ladies...what else do we got...girl on the rocket, Jesus, INRI...over to the stomach, The Ghettoblaster is for my love of Hip Hop, the trucker ladies because I love ladies, Cadillac logo for my love of Cadillacs, Can I Say for DagNasty. On my leg I don't want to grow up-Descendents Tattoo...because that band changed my life."
"Tom and Mark have All The small things...I have all the big things"
"She was super-horny. And we were in our underwear. It was good. That's the one thing I can really say about it." About Janine
"What's wrong with San Diego girls?" Fan "They're San Diego girls" Travis
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